This and that

After a long and seemingly never ending week , during which I must have thought of atleast 3-4 topics to blog on, but could never get around to sitting at the comp for more than 10 mins at a stretch...I am back ! And now that I can ...i don't feel like it . So I am just going to paste the one sad little entry from my diary I had so enthusiastically started on March the 24th. And to think I spent almost 1 hr just setting up the damn journal on WORD..complete with clip art and colors and fonts and what not. But then who would read it , besides me ??? This entry is 6 months and a marriage-old... for old times sake !!!

March 24, 2004
The alarm did not even bother to ring and I was up today. Well it is 8.30 already. I had to be in the lab by 9.
Gonna be late today also. But I just somehow cannot get myself to be up and early.
Inspite of the fact that I simply love the feel of early mornings. The air is so fresh and crisp in the morning. Its almost like while everyone was asleep in their beds at night, someone turned on the sprinklers and cleaned up all the smoke and dirt from the world. Just like the sprinklers in the supermarkets fresh vegetables aisle that turn on every few mins or so.
Sri says I would have to wake up by 6 every morning, while we are at his parents place. I guess I will enjoy the fresh world then.
Really felt I got a lot of work done today. Although did manage to get my daily dose of suleka , BBC news and of course my desi radio. Bad news is I am addicted to sulekha , good news is unlike the morning coffee it does not add into my calorie chart.
I did lazily skip my aerobics class today too, its just so easy to fall out of a habit, even when you have really struggled to get your lazy bones up to the aerobics room every week. A couple of weeks are all it takes to be back to square one. Will try cursing myself again tomorrow. Maybe will feel ashamed enough to trudge back in there. Amazing how much guilt can motivate/harass you to do something. All that cheesecake better be out of my body soon. Can actually feel it adiposing in my cells now. Yikes!!!

Just when I was beginning to feel , may be this blogging craze is going last for a longer than expected season...boom , its gone. I am beginning to feel the enthu levels slowly dying. I guess some people never change . But then it could also be that I simbly ODed my way from blogdom to boredom. Only time will tell .

My life so far .....since friday i.e

Friday after a night of the usual catch-up-with-the-sorority/gossip/bitching session over fruity cosmopolitans, I hit the sack around 3 in the a.m.

Saturday morning, technically...noon, over a steaming mug of elaichi chai, i sat down to pore over a 35 page grant proposal . Someone's got to do the dirty work of pointing out all the silly mistakes the boss makes in his write-up ...the devil that I am, how could I give up on this opportunity ? (that and also the fact that boss himself plonked the document on my table with one line 'by sunday evening ').

Anyhooo, I did relish scribbling huge circles around typos, writing my intellectually BS comments all over the place ...he he , especially made sure I had my crimson red gel pen with me handy ...You should see those research reports I get back from the boss every semester end, so battered and bruised that I can barely manage to recognise those sentences I had so painstakingly and groggily typed at 2 in the morning...oh u bet ...revenge is sweet !!!

After some real serious scribbles for about 2 pages , I lost interest eventually. Sunday evening was still more than 24 hours away ...no worries !!! Dashed off to the lab , did some sample collections. Evening had a "dosa party" as a farewell for one very pregnant girlfriend, who was finally wrapping up her doctorate and joining her hubby for good. Oh ...happy stories make me sooo senti...*sniff sniff*. I attempted to show-off my malluistic attitude with some major claims on the lines of ..."oh dosas ...here let me show you how to make some nice crispy ones ". To put a long story short, I was royally kicked away from the smoking stove and the burnt pile of dough I had ended up with. In my defense ...I can only work my charm and make 'em crispy if I do the whole procedure myself , besides I just cannot concentrate with hazaar people around !! Party was loads of fun ...with crispy brown dosas with globs of aloo sabzi, yummy chutneys, spicy sambar. Its funny how desi parties are always about eating and antaksharis :-)

Tried very hard at reading some more of that grant at night ...gawd it was soooo boring. I would probably written that in there, if my degree was'nt at stake !!

Sunday evening after some serious headache inducing concentration, finished it !!!

Monday was pretty darn hectic ...started a whole new set of experiments ...which translates to less time I can spend playing literati :-(( .

Lord .....Mercy ....I had the worst working day of my life today ..oh yeah , have been thru worse lazy days . Two of my experiments bombed big time ...now that makes 4 expts that I have to troubleshoot and get it working before I can even dream of graduating ....oh I am sooooo sad , i could eat a whole grilled chicken burger with french fries and a coke...ok ok diet coke :-((((

Lessons from Kids

I found this so adorably chweet that I am going to shamelessly copy paste it here.

*************************************************************************************
For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.

For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.

For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.

The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX. Poor
woman.

Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq.
foot house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear
and a superman cape. It is strong enough, however, to spread
paint on all four walls of a 20X20 foot room.

5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on.
When using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball
up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a
baseball a long way.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's
already too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A
magnifying glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a
four-year-old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys
do not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth
worms dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up
twice their body weight when dizzy.

****************************************************************************

Disordered World

The other day as I was vegetating (i.e sitting and eating my veggies ) in front of the TV there was this ridiculous ad for a drug that supposedly treated Social Anxiety Disorder !!! It went something like "Are you scared of social interactions ? do you not enjoy being with other people ? If so, then you may be sufferring from Social Anxiety Disorder . There is a new drug called blah blah to treat it . Ask your doctor today if prescription blah blah is right for you.
Side effects include dry mouth, fatigue, constipation, nausea and vomiting, yada yada yada."
The ad claimed to treat the disorder and make you happy and interactive in social settings....ya right...will join you right after I throw up....Jeez. I would gladly stay at home with my disorder than puke all day! This is Absane (absurdly insane ...i am on the roll here :-))

Whats with people in the medical profession and their need to name every microscopically insignificant deviation from 'normal' as a Disorder ? I am not even sure what is normal anymore.
I agree depression is a serious neurological problem , but what about behavioural disorders, eating, sleeping....SOCIAL disorders ??? I mean come on ....are'nt we taking this too far now ? What that kid with the eating disorder needs is some good old spanking from his mom coupled with a lengthy discourse of how children in somalia starve for days withour food ( I bet we all got those lectures ! ). And with these countless pharma companies churning out drugs for every itch, twitch and sneeze, are we going to end up popping pills like M&M's day in and day out ?

In Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, you can't stay focused on something for a long time ....hey who can, other than a hypnotised zombie ? Its mindboggling when you realise there are people who have been diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder , borderline personality disorder, narcissistic personality disorder, panic disorder, paranoid disorder ....its all become so...so...disorderly

The sad part is however the increasing numbers of children being 'diagnosed' and put on these medications. Is this the price we pay for advancements in science and medicine that the future generation will probably never be able to get out of bed without ingesting a handful of those magic pills ??? Why can't we respect our mind and body anymore and trust it to take care of itself ?

I better sign off ...don't want to end up suffering from obsessive blogsessive disorder !!!

To Ma'm with Love : Part 2

Ten years in school and I never appreciated how amazingly different and quirky each of my teachers were. We all had our favourites for whom we drew those special greeting cards, tried soo hard to study and not fail in their course :-).

Mrs N was one cool teacher I had. She was this feisty lady with a no-nonsense air about her. I adored her for her killer bluntness...she spared no one with her sharp and witty retorts. My friend and I actually used to jot down her 'pearls of wisdom' on the last page of our english notebooks.

Miss R : Yeah , she was a killer too...but she got the job done with her sleeveless blouses and belly button exposing saris which she draped around her 5 foot 8 inch slender frame..a very Sush look from Mein Hoon Na (wait a min...first, the princi and now sush are both oddly familiar...hey, who made this movie ? ) She was'nt all that great of a teacher, but the boys would gladly kill each other for a chance to wipe the blackboard for her . And when we girls were bored of ooohing and aaahing over her gorgeous saris, we used to count the number of times she said "that is" during a class and generate weekly statistics !!!

Mr L: The only male teacher we had in the whole school and guess what he taught ??? drawing and craft !!!

Mrs Ranga : She was our daily dose of bharatnatyam and biology...combined. This petite tam brahm, was the epitome of gracefullness as she oh so melodiously explained the digestive system and its inner workings with her bhavas and hand gestures. She certainly got us interested in bharatnatyam atleast by the end.

And then there were many more in college, in the insti , who in their own ways taught me something in life...the importance of education, importance of blaming fate for all my screwups , and above all being independant. And for all this I will be eternally grateful to my teachers .

To Ma'm with love : Part 1

A line from Dad's mail today went something like this :
"Yesterday was Teacher's day - Mom got several gifts (cost of
which in the wildest dreams also cannot be beyond Rs.15, but the
sentiment attached to them is invaluable) from students and school
management including amba barfi."

As I read it , I could'nt help reminiscing about all those teachers in school, who pounded our tiny cerebrums and spanked our butts with knowledge and taught me things, I am waiting to implement in my life. Aside from the multiplication, division, addition and subtraction which I use on a daily basis to calculate my workload, time spent on working, calories I ingest and bank balance respectively. I just have'nt figured out a way to put into effective use the chronology of Chatrapati Shivaji's life and those battle dates we memorised for history (they haunt me to this day ! )

My teachers have left an indelible mark in my life. Most of them are still remembered as the tyrants they were.

My first ever teacher, of whom I have no recollection of was one . Mom tells me stories of how as a preschooler I was put into a tuiton class to learn the alphabets and numbers 'earlier'.( I still think she did it to have her much loved afternoon siestas). Anyways, I just hated going to those classes and I would throw such a tantrum. Even today I can recollect the foggy images of being dragged along the road lined by tall green hedges on both sides. My parents did'nt make a big deal of all those accusations I put on the teacher, of beating me ,yelling at me . They simply thought I was going to be one dumb kid. When one day I brought home a broken slate as evidence. Dad had marched right up to her and given her the scolding of her life.

The other cane-yielding Rani Laxmibai we had was Mrs Mala in the 3rd grade. She had one class in the week when she used to have those multiplication table quizzes. And that was my own Doomsday. I could'nt for the life of me (literally) remember tables and she knew that . Every week she would pick me (even with my head buried deep inside a book i could'nt escape), and ask me a 3x3 or a 7x8 ?? I would do some heavy duty acting of thinking hard , staring calculatively at the ceiling, scratching my head vigourously...but no...the answer would never dawn on me and then that cane would strike on my tiny outstretched palm with a loud thwack.

Another reason we scampered off from here was that she had hyperactive salivary glands. She was the Niagara of spitters and she could soak you to the bones if you as much as stood for 5 minutes in her vicinity ...remember that princi from Mein Hoon Na ?? Trust me there are people like that in existence. We used to have an area of the front benches where she used to stand during classes designated as 'Danger Zone: Sit at your own risk '.

Here's wishing you a happy teachers day Mrs Mala ...if it had'nt been for you , I would never learn 3x3 is 6..wait is that 9 ??? where's my calculator ???

**** to be continued ****

Loooooong labour day weekend...the girls are planning to drive to chicago, to meet up with sniggsie's mom. She such an awesome cook ...and equally expert at emotionally blackmailing us to stuff ourselves. I think I will skip dinner tonite if I have to eat tomorrow's dinner :-). Its really fun visiting didi, jiju and aunty ...and darling taru. It almost feels like being back in india, with all the food and masti ..and of course Zee and Sony TV :-)
Friday night managed to catch Mira Nair's "Vanity Fair". Yup...managed to....was almost dragged to the movie hall in my PJ's. I still can't figure how one decides to watch a 9.40 show at 9.15 ...rounds up junta...drives to the mall , and is in time to even catch the movie trailers...popcorn and coke included ???
Nice movie btw...I could have rated the movie an A ...but its going to get a B+ from me ...gawd , Reese's a la-belly dance number totally blew it for me . Dunno why , but people who have the flexiblity of an iron rod , should'nt attempt shaking a leg...thats one of my weird pet peeves (actually all of them are ) ...she was sooo floppy ! But movies definately worth a dekho ...

Search search and then some... (re)search !!

Sometimes, during those painfully long hours in the lab, trying to get some (correct) data to fit my hypothesis, (for the nth time) ...i think ...WHAT THE HELL HAVE I GOT MYSELF INTO ?????

For those who are not familiar with the whole PhD charade ..here's a quick trailer (of the 4 or 6 sometimes 27 years of 'research' some naive humans like me end up in). Believe it or not , there are tales told about this chap from somewhere in europe who hung in there for 27 yrs. The process essentially involves some nutcase (ahem *cough cough*) who thinks he/she is Einstein reincarnated, and a life of research and a cure for cancer is what they were put on this earth for. And then there are those who decide to 'continue studies' ...ya right, like you would have stayed back if even one of those 10,000 jobs you applied to, had hired you after your masters.

So after some initial coursework and exams (which have no relevance whatsoever to what you end up 'researching'), that apparently test your knowledge of the field, we dive right into formulating a hypothesis (aka a scientific statement to explain your crazy results). Now this is where I have a big problem ...I started out with one, did some experiments here and there ....some results fit , some did'nt ....so we (i.e me and my adviser..or Mr Moneybags) tweaked 'statement version 1.0' a bit to fit all the results...and thus statement version 1.1 was born.

Now ....I am working on version 5.0 !!!

I am beginning to think all that tweaking was a bad idea !.

So three years later with a desk overflowing of journal articles, countless hours of head scratching (no ...not the dandruffy scratch) and surfing on the net for the next international conference...there are somethings that you learn :

(1) your adviser is no Mr Moneybags. He will probably have to shut the lab, if that grant is rejected for the 4th year also.
(2) how to organise your lousy data to publish two papers and also earn a 'young investigator award' (thanku thanku).
(3) Printing journal articles is not the same as reading them.
(4) how to scourge for free food in the campus, at all those random poster sessions and guest lectures. If you get real good at it , you can schedule all your lunches for a whole month.
(5) By 10 in the night, the vending machine is sold out of Coke.
(6) Record everything ...even the glassware I washed ...helps to thicken up those folders and thereby create an impression of 'hard work'.
(7) Do not believe in miracles: rely on them to get you to finish that 30 page thesis proposal in one night.
(8) Murphy's Law of Statistics: when you are 100 % confident that your results are significant ...they could'nt be anymore statistically "trash".
(9) If you know what the hell you are doing ...then it is'nt research.
(10) YOU ARE NO EINSTEIN !!!

ok... got to get back to my surfing :)