My first love letter

How many of us can still reach into the far recesses of the mind (or heart) and still relive the sweet and tender emotions of that first crush ? My childhood memories are filled with summer vacations ,trading comic books with friends, trips to my hometown kerala, a kid brother I bullied around, and those countless crushes I unrelentingly told myself was my true love... everytime. And yet, my first love letter was for someone who did'nt even matter to me.
The first love letter I wrote was a group effort. I was in the 5th grade and we were about 7-8 girls in our society. A couple of these girls considered themselves our 'elder sisters' and never missed an opportunity to boss us around. On the other side of the society, the guys had a similar group and the only time the two groups met, was during the annual festivals. We did'nt really get along very well and it was almost a war during holi and Ganesh Utsavs were sociable to say the least . Mysteriously, one of us developed a major crush on one of them and decided to profess her love in writing. But being a total wuss, she coud'nt do it alone. So she convinced us (I can't still figure out how ?? )that we also 'like' him , and we have to tell him about our feelings ...before it gets too late (yeah ...she was one scheming conniving little brat). I did'nt really care much for that boy, but joined the "love letter writing project" nevertheless. I was scared that if I refused , I would be excluded from playtime and sharing secrets...worse, those secrets would be about me :-O . I decided I would rather make a complete fool of myself, than become an outcast !!
Finally on a hot summer afternoon, armed with double-line notebook pages, pencil boxes overflowing with all imaginable sketch pen colors, we got down to work. I did'nt really provide any valuable input to the whole manuscript. I just hovered around in the background coz by then I was having my own fears of being caught and eventually disowned by my parents. You see, the guy's parents were very good friends of my folks, and so I was positive I was going to be in big trouble. I can't really remember what the exact contents of that letter were (and now I wish I did :-), except that it had sounded very filmy. In the end we all were to sign our names declaring our undying love to this chap. By now I was undergoing a full fledged panic-attack, that ironically distorted my "signature" so much that it was barely legible.
The next most important thing was to make sure the letter reached its destination. It could not under any circumstance land up in anyone else's hands ...and I vehemently seconded that. One smart-ass girl (maybe it was me:-D came up with the brain-wave that his bicycle seat was a great place to stash the letter, since he was the only one who used the cycle. After completing the whole operation, we retired to our homes. I could'nt sleep a wink all night. It did'nt care two hoots about the guy, his reaction ..blah nothing mattered , except what if my parents found out ??? I kept cursing myself all night for getting into this whole ridiculous 'love letter' business and vowed never to write one again. Not even if I actually fell in love ...it just was'nt worth it.
I can't remember what happened after that , except that I was pretty freaked out for atleast a month. I used to run for my life everytime I saw that guy's parents coming over. I am not sure if the letter was even read , but I did'nt care.

"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." ...Regina, age 10